Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
