shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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