Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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