Apparently you make a good broom.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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