Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
