Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
and eventually we just all took our pants off
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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