if i can run in heels then i can drive
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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