I wish I could teleport
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
