If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
