she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
This is the prime rib incident all over again
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
