my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
