On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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