Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
