how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My penis needs a shock collar
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
