I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
