You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
