I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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