is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Im just a social blackout drinker.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
