I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
