I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
