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if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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