Say something about gay babies.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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