i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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