I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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