What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
