just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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