sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Success! We fucked roommates!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
