4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
