Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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