a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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