Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
