so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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