I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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