I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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