aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
