But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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