Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
should my penis look like a turkey
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
