A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
