i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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