omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
