i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
