; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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