don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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