The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
