I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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