Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i think my cat just said my name.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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