sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
