You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Are we still banned from the library?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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