I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
