Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
