Soap is not a condiment
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
